The following is the continuation of Maria de Fatima da Cruz’s testimony. See also chapters 1 through 8.

That night, I lay helpless in bed while the angel choked me with his hands. I really thought he was going to kill me right there and then. Suddenly, I felt a man’s weight over my body and then a pain pierced me below. My body was covered in sweat; his hands caressed and hurt me. I couldn’t move, yell, speak or run away. I was being abused by an invisible man, a man no one could see. I know it sounds crazy, but this was really happening to me.

The penetration was prolonged and painful. By the time that cursed angel/demon was done, I was drenched in sweat. I remained in bed for a long time without being able to get up and go to the bathroom. When I finally got up, I almost collapsed.

So how am I going to explain this, and to whom? I just had sex with something invisible (nobody and I mean nobody in the world would ever believe me).

The next day, I could hardly walk because of the pain in my bones. Even though I was a gymnastics teacher, I had never felt such pain in my bones or muscles like I did then.

From that moment on, I only had one constant thought in my mind: kill this thing. But, how could I kill him if he was able to appear and disappear? So that’s what led me to think about suicide.

The angel/demon began using my body. He would say: “You’re my wife, you’re mine.” I now had an invisible angel/demon for a husband. It sounds crazy but that’s because I was going crazy.

The angel wouldn’t allow any man to get too close to me and if they did, their life wouldn’t have a happy ending. These were years of suffering and torture. He used and abused my body; continuously molesting and raping me. I suffered in silence. I felt dirty and humiliated; I hated him.

It’s impossible to describe what it feels like to have an invisible spirit husband. I hated him and everything he did to me. My nights were hell. He would make me masturbate, while he painfully weighed down his hand over mine (how could I explain this? Nobody will believe me, nobody). I always say that while someone masturbates there is a spirit lingering over that person (believe it if you’d like, but I Fatima, lived through this).

The angel/demon possessed my body in such a way, that on several occasions I would be laying down in one place and when I’d return to my normal self, I would be in a totally different place. He used my body. Many times I couldn’t even remember how I got there, what I did or what happened. “No, no, I’m not crazy”, I said to myself.

He continuously whispered in my ear: “Go ahead kill yourself, kill yourself!”

I put on a happy façade for the world. People, especially men, often said to me: “You’re beautiful,” but I thought I was the ugliest woman alive. I covered the mirrors throughout my house so that I wouldn’t be able to see myself whenever I passed by.

At home, I was gloomy and depressed. I cried a lot and smoked all the time. The angel just kept saying, “Keep smoking you wretch!” The exact words he used were: “Smoke, keep on smoking because I want you to smoke.”

I constantly thought about dying. I tried killing my son several times because the angel wanted him dead. He wanted my son’s life from the moment he was born. I went as far as leaving my son all alone in a place called the “Forest of Fears” in the middle of the night. It was known as the location of choice for works of witchcraft and sorcery to be performed. But God’s infinite mercy touched my heart and I went back for my son.

Words can’t describe the pain it causes me to remember that night. My son is now an adult but still remembers that dreadful incident. Oh, God!

Thoughts of suicide raced through my mind. How could I explain my lifestyle to my parents? How would people react? If I ever spoke of the angel, they would surely have me admitted into the psych ward. Oh no, no, no! Death was my only way out.

By day, I was a teacher (very well disguised), completely strung out on drugs. By night, I was Amitaf, a totally different person. Nobody you’d want to talk to.

I finally opened up to my mother and she tried her best to help me. We all started going to witchdoctors together. We thought it was the normal thing to do because even doctors would recommend them. Witchdoctors (folk medicine) also wore crucifixes just like the priests did in church. We really believed that we had found the solution to my problems.

However, the truth was that I couldn’t stop his harassments. Every night, I was raped by an invisible man. I was about to go crazy. How could I put an end to this torment? How? I was at the bottom of the pit.

Death was the only way to get away from him, or so I thought.

If I died, the angel/demon could no longer molest me.

We had a religious upbringing. My mother and I made promises to “Saint Fatima.” It’s funny how the angel/demon used our religious beliefs and spiritual blindness to play around with us.

When I got married (if you recall from the previous chapters), the angel ordered me to be married in an Indian sari instead of the usual bride’s dress.

To everyone’s surprise, I was married in a custom ordered Indian sari. Although it was a surprise, it was also accepted because I was known to be quite extravagant.

The angel ordered me to give the veil from my sari as an offering to the statue of Fatima. I believed that by doing this, I would be blessing my marriage.
One day, at my mother’s house, the angel/demon followed me into my childhood bedroom and started bombarding me with ideas of death and suicide. He said: “I’m going to kill you, your son and your whole family!” I told him, “No, you won’t! You’re not an angel. You’re evil. You’re disgusting and I hate you!” Enraged by my answer, he pushed me against the wall. My mother heard me talking and asked, “Fatima, who’s there with you?” I asked my mother, “Mom, you heard? It’s him, it’s him!”

From that moment on, he began attacking my mother as well. She could now hear him. He said that he was going to kill all of our family. My mother looked like a crazy woman. She was going through the same awful experience I was, except that I saw and heard him while she could only hear him.

We sought the help of doctors and witchdoctors. After finding out that my family wanted to hospitalize my mother, I began screaming at them, “No, never! No one is going to touch my mother!” We were being targeted by the angel. He wanted to kill us all. My family was ashamed and doesn’t like to talk about it.

I saw him telling my mother that he was going to kill all of her children. He caused my sister to hang herself while my little nephew watched.

My mother and the angel would get in physical altercations and push each other around.

We were counselled by a witchdoctor who told us to gather all of our family together in the hallway of our house and pray the Lord’s Prayer at midnight. As they prayed I told them: “He’s right here in front of us saying the Lord’s Prayer backwards.”

We tried our luck with another witchdoctor who spit fire and almost burned my mother. That evil angel was attacking my poor mother; he really wanted her dead. My dear mother was now spending her days being harassed by him.

Another witchdoctor assured us that he could get rid of him. But, of course nothing happened. He just caused more demon beasts to come into our house. I could see them, they were like deformed animals.

The night the witchdoctor said he would cast him out forever, was the night my poor family suffered the most. My sister was so scared that she ended up sleeping in my bed with me and my son. He was now going to be in our house for good.

My mother got worse. She was now able to not only hear the angel’s voice but hear all of the other evil angel’s voices as well.

I never allowed them to hospitalize her. The angel continued harassing and molesting me, saying that my whole family belonged to him.

During a conversation with my family, I found out that my parents took me to a “healer” because of a problem I had when I was a baby back in Sao Tome and Principe. Today, I understand how that decision, which was made such a long time ago and out of ignorance, affected our future so much. I was introduced and offered to the angel on that day. We really didn’t know what we were doing.

My mother couldn’t leave the house anymore because if the angel caught her outside he’d try to kill her.

One day my father came across an old family friend that heard about what was happening to my mother and how much they were suffering with what was happening to me.

She said the following to my father: “Look, I’ve been going to a church where strong prayers take place. Who knows, maybe they can help her!”, and she handed my father a Maria magazine because it had the address inside.