The following is the continuation of Maria de Fatima da Cruz’s testimony. See also chapters 1 through 6.

I ended up leaving my husband and running away from that sick threesome (or should I say foursome because I was the only one that saw the angel/demon).

In total, we had a 10 year marriage, full of suffering, disappointments, bitterness, betrayal and lots of hate. In the last five years, I had to put up with his lover and take care of his son. I felt hatred mixed with a desire to see death and blood. I strongly felt a need to kill and that’s where my journey bound for hell began.

I met someone who eventually introduced me to cocaine, but before trying that, I experimented with LSD, acid, Valium, Repenol, cannabis and opium. Add to that list, the sedatives I took in order to keep calm, which had the exact opposite reaction in my body. As soon as I took them, I’d break everything and become extremely aggressive. The doctors didn’t believe me and said it was impossible because the medicine caused drowsiness and was meant to help me sleep. The angel was responsible for these nervous breakdowns; he was the cause of my aggression.

After my separation, I constantly plotted how I was going to kill them. My hatred was so blinding that I was able to sit there and plan their deaths. I even paid someone to do it, but thank God that person sensed that I wasn’t acting on my own intentions, brought back the money and said, “Fatima, I know you don’t want to do this.” I got very upset with him (but, thankfully, God didn’t allow it).

Since he refused to go through with the plan, I decided I would: I pointed a gun at my husband’s head. That cursed angel/devil kept whispering in my ear: “Kill him, kill him. Go ahead, you coward; kill him, kill him now!”

During the day, I seemed normal. I went back to giving classes at the school, but at night I became a totally different person: snorting and smoking insane amounts of crack-cocaine. I was now using at least $40.00 of crack at a time, if not more. I got involved with very dangerous people in high society.

At this time, the angel/devil had complete control over my mind, body and soul.

By now, I was a lunatic in disguise (I just wanted him to disappear from my life). The angel/devil wouldn’t let any man get close to me. When anyone tried, he’d become furious: he would beat me, choke me and almost kill me. I’d appear with dark bruises all over my body and everyone thought I was hurting myself. I was in a dark pit. How could I possibly open up to anyone when no one ever believed me? And don’t think I didn’t look for help because I did. I searched for answers in churches, witchdoctors, fortune tellers…

I spent hours in a bathtub covered with a white cloth and had chicken blood poured over my head, a practice in witchcraft to ward off evil. Every time I had one of these things done to me, that cretin would just stand there laughing. When I saw him, he would say: “Kill your son. Go ahead, kill him!”

I tried to kill my son various times (but God’s mercy didn’t allow it). It’s difficult to hold back the tears whenever I think about this time in my life because it reminds me of how great God’s compassion really is.

I was being tormented day and night. He pulled my hair, pushed me around and I suffered in silence.

If any man tried to date me or if I found a boyfriend, the angel would try to kill him. Strange things would happen to them, forcing me to stop seeing them.

I armed myself with a nine millimeter automatic, and a whip. I was extremely aggressive. I’d attack and beat any man. The angel found a way to put one of my boyfriends in jail without a reason or explanation. Another was in a fatal car accident. Anyone that got too close to me was in danger of disappearing.

My life was horrible. I just wanted cocaine. I snorted cocaine and smoked crack, but like I said, I was two people with two different personalities. The people around me had their suspicions but I thought I did a good job at masking the truth. Even though I seemed like a normal person during the day, I wasn’t: I smoked more than 30 joints (cannabis and hashish) a day. How could I be normal when I was constantly under the influence of drugs?