At the age of 13, I decided to stop going to the denomination my parents attended, because I found it boring and wanted to try “new” things. This is when I started to enjoy what, until then, I knew nothing about.

I started going out to parties, drinking, smoking cigarettes and using marijuana; I thought I was having the time of my life. I became popular because of my lifestyle, everyone complimented me and wanted to hang out with me, but most of these people were only with me for an interest, to be popular like me. Very few of them truly liked me.

On the outside, everyone liked my style. They thought I was beautiful and always praised me, but it was all just a front. I was fooling myself, because I didn’t truly accept myself as I was. I thought that I was ugly without all of that stuff, I had complexes, so I tried everything to make myself beautiful and happy. I had many boyfriends, but none of those relationships worked out.

I was drawn to the wrong things, I liked to listen to satanic music, and everything that was dark and satanic attracted me. When I was 17, I began to get involved with Wicca after finding out that my ancestors practiced witchcraft. I did artistic makeup, but it was always based on the obscure like vampires, zombies, monsters, among other things. I’d do everything I could to get attention and feel important, and I managed to do it.

I had everything I wanted, beauty, attention, a bunch of people around, but inside I always had a void that couldn’t be filled by anything or anyone. While I was out partying with my friends, I felt happy, but afterwards when I went home, the sadness returned and I felt empty and alone.

Because of the problems and emptiness I felt, I became depressed. I suffered several crises, took Rivotril and even thought about taking my own life. But when I thought there was no way out, God sent someone to help me. I finally felt peace when I stepped into the Universal Church. The assistants counseled me along the way and no one judged me, pointed a finger or criticized my style. I felt welcomed there.

Today I am in the presence of God and I am becoming more and more involved with Him, because I understand that the sadness and emptiness that existed in me would only end with His presence in my life. Today I don’t need any of those things to feel good or happy.

I never thought I would say this, but my interest in all those things disappeared, because now I know what I really need to be happy: GOD! He always gives me the comfort and strength I need to move forward. When you have an encounter with God, you really don’t need anything else! I received the Holy Spirit, I am part of the Youth Group and I volunteer in the Media project.

Thamires Terra