Good evening Mrs. Esther!

The Holy Spirit has often urged me to speak about the transformation He’s done in my life, in order to reach out to those who think they’re incapable of overcoming the tough situation they’re in.

Many cower in abject surrender, preferring to put on a front, like I did. No one would ever have imagined my family’s harsh reality.

Let me briefly describe how my life was before I had an encounter with God.

Those who don’t have an understanding of God’s Divine power, think that only low-class, unloved, uneducated, non-family oriented, hungry people who live in the slums or the “famous” ex-drug dealers, ex-prostitutes, ex-thieves, etc. are the kind of people who seek God.
This is one of the major ways that Satan deceives people.

Thinking back to my childhood, I’m reminded of special family moments, where my parents are sitting at the table, having a conversation, being affectionate toward me, their only child, who they raised in the lap of luxury. But this image is soon interrupted by memories that contradict all of that peacefulness.

Thus, began my parents’ relentless pursuit of God; knocking on several doors.

I was thirteen years old, when my family came to the Upper Room of the Holy Spirit. Not because I was seeking to have an encounter with God, but because I was a good daughter. I accompanied my mother, thinking that all those people were there to seek God because, like I said earlier, they were less fortunate than my family.

Over time, I stopped going to church with my mother and inherited all of the curses that, until then, were upon my Dad. I got very sick and lost my will to live. I was surrounded by books and philosophies; a lot of information, but very little life.

I thought I was a “lost case” and that God did not care about me, causing me much grief. Then, in the midst of many unsuccessful treatments, I gave up on everything because the problems just got worse.

My face was full of boils, I was constantly fainting, my body continually ached; I had so many problems that if I were to write them all down, I’d need a very long list.

During this period in my life, I went with my mom a couple of times to church, but even though the pastor preached with faith, I could not understand a word he said. It was as if the words did not reach my ears; his mouth moved but nothing came out. When I did hear him speak, I understood completely differently from what he was saying; there was no consistency in his words. Of course, I gave up trying and decided not to go back.

I turned into something dreadful and evil that hated life and my parents.

I’d ask myself: Why was I ever born? What’s my purpose in life? God, why am I here?

Those words were what kept the hatred burning inside; it’s what gave me the strength to endure life. I slowly kept changing, not even realizing it; when I did, this thing had already become a giant, eating away at me, causing tremendous damage.

Knowing that I had nothing left, except this travesty of a life, partially living in darkness and terribly angry at God, I did the most absurd thing: I gave my soul to the devil. It was horrible!

I was down on the floor, but when I got up, there was something different living inside me, another being. I became constantly surrounded by demons and distanced myself from everyone that loved me. I walked and talked with the devil and felt inclined to do bad things.

Deep down, my greatest desire was to kill. I wanted to kill my parents and see their blood spilled as a sign of power, especially my mother. I wanted to feel her blood, touch it or maybe, even drink it. I drank my own blood to strengthen the pact. I hated my mother because she prayed to God in my favor.

I was punished with spankings, deep cuts that drew blood from my legs, etc.; but nobody knew because nobody ever saw it happen. There were so many moments of spiritual torment, humiliation, snarling hatred, threats, etc… Often, I would be taken to a dark place with a lot of fire, where the terrifying screams were deafening.

I was told not to look, but I remember that whenever I disobeyed, I’d see a lot of things I didn’t want to. People agonizing in pain, like rotting prisoners; the smell was putrid. One or two demons would take me by the arm down a long, wide corridor. Straight ahead, I could see a huge throne and I’d be forced to walk down this corridor of torment. A very large demon sat on a throne with two others, one on each side, as a sign of power. They made up hell’s trinity.

There were many tears and screams, dark shadows moved quickly past the throne. When they went before the throne, they’d pass by me and mock me. It was very dark, it smelled horrible and there was darkness, much darkness.

I lived in darkness.

As I came before the throne, a loud voice ordered me: “Get down on your knees; because now you belong here, you’re stuck here forever.”

But, it was useless; I disobeyed and continued suffering even more when I’d come back.

I tried to commit suicide by taking a cocktail of strong medicine and I also tried hanging myself. My desire for blood also increased. I remember taking a large kitchen knife and sliding it across my jugular, but its blade was facing out. I lost all control and whenever he craved death, I craved death too.

When something bad happened, I’d be overcome by a diabolical happiness; I’d feel relieved.

He’d say: “There is no turning back, I’m in charge here!”

He’d say so many terrible things…
…Go back? Go back to where?

That’s right; I would go back to my bedroom and put my supernatural faith into use. That’s what I became determined to do. It was right there and then, that I learned how to be strong and truly became revolted against that situation. I’d had enough!
I literally found myself standing up to all of hell’s evil forces.

I humbled myself before God and called out to Him, like if it were my last breath:

“I don’t want anything! Can’t You see that I’m living in complete darkness? Therefore, if you can you hear me; I want to die right now. I don’t want to be cured; I’m not worthy of that. I just want to die, right here, before You. That is all I need, I want to die right now with You watching over me, so that You can take my soul.”

That was my prayer.

That evening, God visited me and accepted me. Even though I was a worthless, sick, broken down, totally drenched in tears of repentance, acknowledging my faults and offenses against Him, He loved me unconditionally.

Peace filled the room, my heart calmed down and I fell asleep without even realizing it.