I would like to share what I’m going through, I can’t keep quiet about it, or keep it all inside. It is so glorious, so extraordinary that it feels like I’m exploding inside. I do not know if I can find the words to describe it because it is immeasurable.

I’ve wasted so much time. Why only now? My God, how much I have lost!

If someone came up and said: “I’ll give you all the money in the world in exchange for what you have.”

I would say: “I’m not CRAZY, it can’t be bought or sold because its price is the blood shed on the Cross of Calvary.”

Now I know what it is like to be a part of the kingdom of God here on earth. It is joy of the soul, peace, happiness and confidence inside of me, so that I hardly recognize myself.

Sometimes I stop and wonder, this doesn’t seem to be me, it’s so great that I keep saying: “My God, how WONDERFUL YOU ARE LORD!”

Now, I am truly able to love. I don’t depend on circumstances in order to love, nor do I depend on other people loving me before I can love them back. I do not need to get along with people to love them, I just love them because they are souls. Simply because I’m also flawed, sinful and loved, in spite of who I am.

If something happens to annoy me, I no longer view it negatively. I try to understand the person, put myself in his shoes, internalize it in the sense of trying to understand why, find out where I was wrong, what I did or did not do to make that happen, but in such a natural way that it does not steal my peace.

I am free. I was talking to God and felt like I was floating, I found myself dancing in a beautiful garden with Him when He told me: “What if I brought you up to Me right now?” I replied: “I would only win.”

You know what he replied?

“No, my daughter. You are already saved, but I still have many souls to save through your life. ”

I simply told Him: “Here I am to be used, my life is to be spent for You.”

I feel like nothing, I am so ashamed when I remember how selfish I used to be. When I lived in my own world, lives were being taken to the abyss. I ask God for forgiveness, and I know that there is still time, and the time is now.

I have been a part of this wonderful work for nearly 15 years, and I used to say, in a mechanical way, without even thinking, and because I heard others say it: “I’ve given up everything to save souls.”

Though I spoke about salvation, about God and tried to help people, today I know I was not really giving my life, because before I could have given to others, I would first need to have given it completely to GOD.

What do you mean? Hadn’t I already given my life to JESUS? Of course I had! But I hadn’t really surrendered all. Selfishness, my will, my feelings… all of it imprisoned and limited me. God wanted to use me, but I blocked Him from doing so.

How STUPID and IRRESPONSIBLE I was! I did not have the spiritual eyes to see that God wanted my surrender first, and only then would I have the ability, given by Him, to do His work.

But, thank God, after almost 15 years, this awakening has come. He continued to believe in me and did not give up, how beautiful my God is. I do not want to disappoint him now, I know that we cannot turn back time, but one thing I know, and HE also knows it: I am available to spend every second of my life to dethrone the devil’s kingdom and to add to the Kingdom of God.

Today I can say without a doubt, I have truly given up everything in order to win SOULS, even though my all is nothing compared to what He has done and is doing for me.

Ana Menezes