Friend, I can sympathize with your pain because I know what its like to be enslaved by your feelings and tied down to a destructive relationship.

I didn’t have anything because I didn’t know my worth or have any self-esteem. I depended on others to make me feel good. I couldn’t be left alone at all, always depending on someone, as if they were a drug that gave me the happiness I didn’t have. They were not to blame for my misfortune, but because of my emotional illness and neurosis, I thought the next relationship would be different, that all of my problems would end once I found the right person, who loved me and we would become the family I never had, since I was never loved by my father or mother. I was constantly rejected and suffered all kinds of abuse.

I suffered a lot before realizing that no man, no matter how good he was, could save me from myself. I had to be radical – either I let God guide my life and trust Him completely, or I would continue doing things my way and suffering with every relationship. I wanted to find love, but I didn’t have love to give, not even to myself. I was indecisive, full of complexes, envious, selfish, manipulative, jealous, etc. I suffered and caused others to suffer as well.

Friend, it won’t happen like magic or in a miraculous way, because I doubt that God is going to fix the wrong decisions we make or solve the problem for us. He gives us the strength to do what is right, and then its up to us to decide whether or not we are gong to do what needs to be done.

We can give a thousand excuses and keep saying that we can’t do it, but that will only prolong our suffering. God can transform any person, and restore any relationship, but He is not speaking to the other person, He’s speaking with us.

We need to be transformed, so that we can have our relationship transformed. Make a vow of confidence with God, sacrifice your will, surrender to Him wholeheartedly, trust. He can restore and fill your void and prepare you to be the right person for someone, so that you can have a relationship that a child of God deserves.

Vanessa