I’m going through a phase… This feeling, this passion, has been getting in my way. I’m 22 years old and I’ve been coming to the Universal Church since I was born. At the age of 16, I fell away from the faith and that’s when my downfall began: alcohol, promiscuity, I had a son, I was humiliated, beaten… Until the age of 21, my life was a lie. When I started dating this guy, who was apparently God-fearing, my mother made a purpose of faith for me to come back to Church.

Look, it has been a struggle! He keeps me from God in every way. My life ended because of him, but I’ve made the decision to get baptized. However, I allowed him to get in the way. I have discernment and I know that I’m not saved. The devil, somehow, wants to attack me through my love life. This boyfriend, who happens to be a cop, has said that he had seen in his head an image that he was going to kill me. I don’t have the courage to end this relationship, which I’m sure was the devil himself who put him in my path, because it’s something that makes me cry more than it makes me smile.

Today I have become an unhappy, sad and closed person. And to think that a year ago I had everything. I was happy, cheerful and communicative. I’ve already thought about suicide… There is truly a war going on inside me. I have clung to God, but I have a lot to change still. God has sustained me, because He knows that I really want to know Him, His love, and have all the peace that only He can give me. I believe and I am not going to falter.

Thais Soares