How many of us have been in a deep pit? We feel upset and don’t want to consider anyone else’s feelings. We become super sensitive. If anyone looks at you sideways or if you don’t get the attention you think you deserve, forget it.
You explode!

If we don’t explode, if we’re afraid of the reaction we’ll get or of the consequences we’ll have to deal with, then we just break down and cry.

We find ourselves alone, crying our eyes out.

The worst thing is when someone seems interested in listening to you, you tell them everything you’ve been holding in—spilling your guts about everything without worrying about what you’re saying.

Every time we’re wrongly judged, we get worse. We become more fragile and can’t seem to find a way out of the pit.

When will we put an end to this? How can we overcome the past that haunts us? How can we forget and move on?

The truth is, I’ve found myself in this sad situation before. And even though I often tried to explain myself, I didn’t think anyone understood. I wanted an answer but I didn’t know what I was expecting the other person to say or do. How could I turn my situation around? How could that person ever be able to transform my sadness into peace or harmony?

The problem wasn’t that no one understood. The problem was me.

I was unable to overcome my past. Something would always happen, reassuring me that my past was actually still my reality. It was horrible! It seemed like there was no way out. My low self-esteem made me feel inferior to everyone else.

Want to know what I did?

To be totally frank, I went up to my room and had a serious conversation with God. I told Him that I was sick and tired of being haunted by my past. I promised Him that I would never cry about it anymore. I would no longer suffer because of this problem.

At the end of my sincere prayer, I felt relieved, but there was still much ground to cover. I discovered an unknown side of myself. In a few months, I was able to put all the sadness that was deeply rooted inside of me aside.

Do you know when I was able to completely get rid of it?

I was only able to get rid of my past when I began to give more of myself without expecting anything in return. Nothing at all! As much as it was in my nature to think about my rights to have this or that, I didn’t pay attention to that little voice in my head anymore. I knew that it was because of my “nature” that my life ended up in that pit.

All my sorrows and pain were due to my five senses.

What? How are you supposed to live without feeling?

I’m always going to feel and I’m always going to want. But that’s the secret!

The secret is not be enslaved by those overwhelming feelings.

The secret is to take control of the situation. I did exactly that; not by my own strength but through His.

God inspired me and gave me direction! The direction that I’m referring to can’t be found in the common friendship—it’s divine.

He gave me the authority to tread on all the unknown things inside me and did that “deep cleaning” that I never had to do again!

Vivi Freitas