Mrs Cristiane,

I am 19 years old and it’s been three years since I left the church. You know, Mrs Cristiane, I had been attending the UCKG with my mother since I was a child, and so I decided to leave in order to know the world for myself. After three months, I found a boyfriend—my first boyfriend. My life changed since that day: I began to drink, smoke, sleep with him, and as if having sex with him wasn’t enough, he’d ask me to masturbate in front of him. That’s how bad my life became.

Our relationship—if I could call it a relationship—quickly wore out because the only thing he wanted was sex. After three months, we broke up.

I was devastated and I started drinking more than what was considered “normal”. I started smoking and sleeping with every man that I met. I don’t know what happened to me, but I’d go out with a guy for the first time and we’d end up having sex.

But now I want to go back to the things I used to do, to evangelize, pray, fast, and just do the things of GOD. But I can’t! I don’t have the strength to make myself do all of that. I feel dirty.

I try to attend the church on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays but it seems that there’s something blocking me. I don’t know what it is… Actually, I do. I know it’s evil, but I don’t have strength to fight against it.

For God’s sake, help me; tell me what to do. Help me in prayer, give me a kind word. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking about taking my life…

I want to do what I used to, but I can’t. I want it so badly, I really do. I am willing to give my life for this to happen.

I am sorry for bothering you, but even without knowing you, I felt in my heart that I could count on you.

Thank you for your attention!

D.M.