I want to change! I am tired of suffering! I’m tired of crying, of sleepless nights, of living with such a void inside of me. I’m not even able to kill myself. I’m too much of a coward even to do that. Only God knows how many times I have woken up in the middle of the night and asked Him to take my life!

What I have is not life! It’s a put-on. Whoever looks at me must think I’m the happiest person in the world, but God knows how many times I’ve asked to die because I can no longer stand the turmoil, anguish, fear, and depression.

Only God knows how many times I have woken up in the middle of the night with the taste of blood in my mouth, and suppressed a scream. An evil spirit is inside of me, I know this because I used to be an Assistant. I cast out demons from the people, I used to help others, and now I see that I’m becoming just like them.

What good is my education, diplomas, important position at work and high heels when I’m in spiritual quicksand… when nothing I have makes me happy? I really want to be strong…

I ask the people who read this post to pray for me, and please forgive my ranting.

Thank you for the article. I was made aware of this blog through a friend who shared it on Facebook.

A Friend