It is very important to talk about this subject. I had bad experiences because I had doubts and satisfied my flesh.

I lost my virginity in a disgusting way.

I was in a relationship with a guy who fought with me all the time because he did not want to wait until marriage to be intimate. It was six months of loneliness, anguish and many tears. Because we did not come into agreement, we would break up and then, in a matter of days or weeks, we would get back together again.

I did not want to lose him, because I thought I loved him very much. I thought: “What if I take a chance and sleep with him? It will only be this one time… ”

Important detail: I had been going to Church every week for more than five years. But I did this as a routine, I gave my tithe, did my purposes, wouldn’t miss one Sunday service… But lived a troubled life, went to parties and had an awful relationship. I thought that if I surrendered my life to God, I would become a radical Christian, and I didn’t want to be like that.

I was afraid to deny my flesh and do the will of God, but I wasn’t afraid of suffering and embarrassing myself as a woman. I was afraid to be alone; I was filled with fleshly thoughts. I never saw porn videos, but I was overcome with curiosity.

One day, after several attempts, I could no longer resist and decided to sleep with him. When I got back home, I felt so dirty and impure… I was even ashamed to look in the mirror. I shed a few tears, but not enough to repent, because I continued the relationship.

A month later, I became tired, tired of constantly thinking about everything that was happening, because I felt so empty and disgusting… I prayed, but there was no strength in my prayer, there was no desire to seek God, or to read His Word. It was as if I was alone, so I decided to give up my boyfriend, the parties, the thoughts and those DESIRES.

The FAST OF DANIEL came and I decided to do what I had never done before: surrender my life 100% in the hands of God, and bury my flesh. I kept hearing that God was good and loving, but I didn’t understand, I couldn’t understand why He had such love for me – an impure sinner.

The fear of being alone ended. Today, I don’t even think about it. The doubts are gone and my void was completely filled. Today, I understand that there is no man, no greater love, nothing, NOTHING greater than God’s love. He is the Man, He is the One who will not disappoint you, even though we are full of flaws.

And I want to share this with as many people possible: It is wonderful to have the assurance of Salvation. The God’s LOVE is amazing, and many times, we exchange it for nothing, for the filth and garbage of this world. Often, people chosen to suffer rather than be happy, be happy with the One who gave us life and understands us better than anyone else, IT IS NOT WORTH IT!

Today, I no longer live for myself; instead I live for God. Today I’m alone, but very, very happy because the peace and joy that I possess is true and eternal.

May God bless everyone, and use you even more to open the eyes of those who are blind in this world of darkness.

Desiree – Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil