I believe it’s more than proven, tested and understood that marriage is not easy. Getting married is easy; remaining married is not so easy. In some places, the rate of failure is 60%.

So, I don’t have to argue my point. The numerous amount of divorces, and couples who remain unhappily married, confirm my thesis.

Marriage, even when the most important factors are aligned, is hard. Even when the couple’s culture is similar; their level of intellect is compatible; they have common objectives; their ages (maturity) comes close; their upbringing doesn’t cause conflicts; their religious beliefs are the same… Still, the couple is destined to face difficulties associated with living together.

What frightens me is that a lot people choose to make it even harder and complicate what’s already difficult by nature.

It’s not enough for them to marry someone who is naturally different. One is a man, the other is a woman. One likes the beach, the other likes the countryside. No, that’s not enough. They want something even more difficult, more challenging.

They want to marry someone of a totally different faith than theirs. They want to be mother to a soccer team, but marry someone who doesn’t like kids.

In short, they want to complicate things not simplify them.

And guess what they get in return? You guessed it. Complications.

Of course there are always exceptions. I can already see the comments: “I and my husband/wife are very different but we’re happy. We are able to overcome our differences.” Good for you. I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions, or that it’s impossible for complicated marriages to end up well. But I ask you: what if you had to have a delicate surgery done by a Doctor who has a 90% rate of failure, in other words, 90% of his patients end up dead, would you get under the knife?

To my single friends:

When you are choosing who to marry, use your head over your heart. If you let your heart decide, it won’t let you think of the consequences. It’ll choose someone who makes you feel good today, right now. Hearts don’t care about tomorrow. That’s why people marry then divorce later on; because it was a decision of the heart, not of the mind.

If you choose with your head, you will analyze the person’s situation well before you allow your heart to become involved sentimentally.

Whoever chooses with their head, overjoys their heart and saves themselves the aggravation later on. Whoever chooses with their heart will have momentary joy and later suffer a headache (and heartache) for a long time.

If you can still choose, alleviate, don’t complicate.

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