Many people ask me:

“What happens when resentment is against yourself? What happens when you already saddened God so much that you can’t forgive yourself for so many wasted chances?”

That was a student’s question – and the answer may surprise you.

At first glance, this just seems like a guilt problem. However, when we analyse it carefully, we realise that the difficulty of forgiving oneself goes far beyond what many imagine. And that’s exactly where many get confused.

A wrong diagnosis leads to the wrong solution

When the person says, “I believe God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself”, they are looking at the wrong place.

• The problem is not the harm inflicted on oneself.
• It’s not the inability to forgive yourself either.

All this is just the effect. The real cause is deeper: the absence of repentance.

No repentance, guilt remains

The Bible is clear: forgiveness is a consequence of repentance. When there is no repentance, there is no forgiveness. And when there is no forgiveness, guilt remains.

That’s why the apostle Peter said, in Acts 3:19:

“Repent therefore and be converted that your sins may be blotted out.”

That is, the order does not change: first comes repentance; then, forgiveness.

Repentance is not feeling

Many confuse repentance with emotion. They think that repenting is crying, suffering or blaming themselves. But it’s not.

Repentance is recognising the mistake without justification, abandoning sin and changing one’s attitude. When this doesn’t happen, the person themselves knows that they will make a mistake again – and, therefore, the guilt does not go away.

God has no difficulty in forgiving

There is no doubt about God’s willingness to forgive. The Bible states that He is very abundant in mercy.

Therefore, the correct question is not: “Does God still forgive me?”

The right question is another: “Why haven’t I really repented yet?”

Cut what I like to preserve what I love

Proverbs 28:13 teaches that whoever confesses and leaves sin achieves mercy. And leaving involves sacrifice. It consists of cutting what gives momentary pleasure to preserve something much greater: peace, communion with God and the salvation of the soul.

The root needs to be solved

I conclude directly:

• Your problem is not resentment against yourself.
• It’s not too many mistakes in the past.
• It’s not a lack of God’s forgiveness.

It’s a lack of repentance. Solve this – and the rest will come as a consequence.

https://www.universal.org/renato-cardoso/post/e-quando-a-magoa-e-contra-si-mesmo/