05/02/2013

Things which only exist inside of you

When you need to give a presentation and speak in public before 5, 20, or 150 people, the butterflies in your stomach don’t bother anyone else. The worry of what others may think of you, the fear of tripping up on the words or drawing a blank, feeling so shy you can’t even look people in the eye – all of that exists exclusively in your mind.

The people in the crowd don’t feel anything in their stomach (perhaps just hunger, depending on what time of the day it is.) They are probably just thinking and hoping that the presentation you’re going to give will help them and be worth their time. They are not bothered when you make a mistake on a word. They’re not too shy to look you in the eye.

All the tension, worry, fear and embarrassment you feel at that moment, exists exclusively inside of you.

This is how it is with every human emotion.

Conscious of this, what if you decide to ignore them, after all no one can see what’s going on inside of you?

What if you decide to keep calm, speak with confidence, composure and firmness?

You will probably give a much better presentation. Your audience will get more out of it, and you will be happier with yourself in the end. Everyone wins because you decided to ignore your negative emotions.

Whether you have to speak in public or not, practice this at work. Learn to notice your negative emotions, and remember they only exist inside of you. Then decide to move forward despite the feelings.

Practice this in your relationship as well. The anger, grudge, resentment, caused by something your loved one did, only lasts as long as you keep feeding it. Perhaps your partner already forgot about what happened, or moved on a long time ago and that’s why he/she doesn’t understand why you are still sulking, downcast, acting as though it just happened.

Being perceptive to your negative emotions and neutralizing them is one of the secrets to being successful in life.

Success or failure – everyone will see these.