I observed something: in order for marriage to work well, both the husband and wife have to be complete individuals. Two who are complete individually make a happy marriage.

The opposite is also true: if a person (or several) is incomplete, their marriage usually has problems.

This blows off that myth which makes many think: “I got married to be happy,” or “I want to marry someone who completes me.”

The fact is that if you’re not happy before you get married, you probably won’t be after. If you’re not complete before getting married, you probably won’t be after. You’ll still be incomplete after. However, if you’re like that while still single, don’t get mixed up with marriage.

When you get to being married, you should be well-rounded individuals, happy enough to share good things with your partner. If you get married to fix your problems, you’ll probably be putting a heavy load on your partner. Plus you’ll make his life (and yours) torture.

Unfortunately, this is what most people do. That’s why there are so many couples who’s partner has to carry the other, swallow frogs, suffer humiliations, play the shrink to solve their traumas, tolerate addictions… basically, to be that dog owner which goes around cleaning up the poop he leaves around.

Here’s some advice for the single: unload your baggage, and fix yourself before getting married. Be someone who adds to the life of another, not subtracts. And when you are ready, find someone with the same qualities. Don’t marry a time bomb.

Those who are married to someone problematic: your cross is heavy, but all hope is not lost. Have lots of patience and at the same time be firm at the right moment. There’s no point to cry and complain now. You have to fight with wisdom in order to win. Be strong.

If you’re the problematic one in the relationship: until when are you going to be the heavy suitcase, full of rocks, with no handle, wet and without wheels? When are you going to be ashamed of yourself? When are you going to find help?

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