This story is very common in the world of relationships. A woman falls for a bad boy, a scoundrel, a waste of space — whatever you want to call the type of man who has something attractive about him but has no good qualities.

He is handsome, but a liar. He has all the right words to melt a woman’s heart — and the hearts of all the other women he flirts with wherever he goes.  He presents himself as secure and confident, but when he drinks or is irritated, he becomes aggressive to the point of scaring her.

Everyone tells her that it won’t work. Her family warns her: “You don’t know this boy, and you’re now going to move in with him?” Her friends have their doubts: “Do you think he is marriage material?” Blinded by a feeling she mistakes for love, she thinks they want to take away her happiness.

Yes, she does find some of his behavior rather strange, such as disappearing for three days, not answering her calls and then turning up explaining, “I was abducted by aliens and I couldn’t get a signal on my phone inside their spaceship.” Or the story he already told her three times as to why he ended the relationship with his ex — each time a different version. But she doesn’t want to judge him. After all, “he is a good person,” or so she thinks.

Against all common sense, she decides to invest in that relationship. Basically, she thinks that her love is so strong that she will be able to change him. She thinks that when he sees that she has given him her body, soul, spirit and bank account, he will love her back with the same intensity, become a better man and marry her.

If you (or someone you know) are in this situation, wake up! Such men are not renovation projects. Don’t be naïve.

Instead of reforming him, it’s more likely that a few years (maybe months) down the line, you will have exhausted your beauty, strength, money and patience to no avail. And when you find yourself devastated, cheated on, humiliated and tired of crying over him, somehow he’ll still manage to blame you for the relationship not working.

However, if after reading this you still decide to continue the relationship, go ahead then. You deserve him.

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