16/07/2011

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony divorce

It’s the third divorce for her and the second for him. In spite of the couple’s fame, beauty, and money, their three-year-old twins will have to grow up in a broken home.

I joke with my wife that if I were president, I would push for a law that would force couples to get marriage education and only be allowed to marry if they pass a strict test. Just like you do when you get a driver’s license. Only harder. Sadly, I’m not running for president…

One of the problems is this: Many couples think that warm and fuzzy feelings of “love” for each other are enough to make marriage work. But after the honeymoon, reality hits them hard, differences become more apparent, and suddenly love is not conquering all anymore.

It takes work for marriage to work. If you’re married and struggling in your relationship, it’s easy to think divorce is the way out. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. Save for rare and special exceptions (when you realize after the wedding that you actually married Freddie Kruger), when you divorce you’re simply dropping out of marriage school. You’ll never graduate. And if you do marry again, your chances of failure increase, since you never learned your lessons anyway. And once you take that exit door the first time, you’ll look for it again the next time.

I’ve been married for 20 years. Cris and I have vowed never to pronounce the word “divorce” in relation to our marriage. It’s amazing what you’re prepared to do for each other when you decide that the exit door is not an option and you just have to make it work.

We learned the hard way. We wish we’d had a course like Succeed in Marriage back in our early days. It’s the kind of course that I would endorse as a president — for engaged couples and for veterans who still don’t seem to get it right after many years. It’s worth visiting Houston, Texas for two weeks just to attend it. Not really comparable but better than nothing, is getting the DVD set.

I’m not making any money from this, since it all goes to fund the course for other couples anyway. But we are making better, happier marriages. The next one starts on August 2nd.

P.S. Will someone forward this to J.Lo and tell her it’s way cheaper than a divorce lawyer? Thank you.