One of the reasons for failure in marriage is the couple’s metamorphosis from fan to critic.

In the beginning of a relationship, the couple brings the same-old faults they’ve always had, but somehow see only the good qualities in each other. “You are so beautiful.” “I was starting to miss you.” “I love being close to you.” “It’s time for you to go already?” “You look great in those clothes.”

In each compliment, from each show of admiration, love grows. You feel special and return the compliment.

But time passes and life happens. Unexpected problems, irritations, moments of anger, disappointments, bad behavior… Before you know it, you’ve become each others number one critic.

“You’re so selfish.” You only know how to spend money; you don’t even consider how hard I work.” “And you’re not even considerate enough to wash a dish. Even though you know I get home really tired and still have to cook and clean.” “You don’t do anything; I have to do everything around here.” “You’re just like your mother, you don’t respect me.”

Be honest: Can you love someone who criticizes you all the time? Do you feel like being close to them?

You have to find a way back to the beginning of it all. If you don’t want your relationship to end, go back to treating him/her like in the beginning. Even if he or she isn’t treating you like that right now, you can take the first step. All change starts through one person. It’s wrong of you to wait for the other person to change, and to make it one of the conditions to your change.

Try returning criticism with compliments. You can do it. Persevere.

When you least expect it, that fan you fell in love with will return.

P.S. Despite of what I wrote, don’t be surprised by some of the comments people will leave criticizing their partner. They didn’t get it.

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