Time truly flies when you’re having fun! Cristiane and I celebrated 22 years of marriage on July 6^th. But the party happens every day. Yes, when marriage is good, every day is a celebration. Waking up next to her is like opening up a champagne bottle. Receiving compliments is like music to my ears. Making her smile several times during the day is like giving her a gift she loves. Truly it’s a daily party. But it was only possible from the tears that came beforehand.

Our first 12 years of marriage were not daily parties. There were many days of tears. Hardened hearts. Not knowing what to do. Impatience. There came days I was ready to mourn rather than celebrate.

But we were broken. Our pride came undone. And following the recipe of the Author of Love, we were able to overcome ourselves. And just like a paradox, our past problems were the ones which made and make us stronger today.

Speaking about strength, yesterday I read something in the story of Jacob that reminded me of our marriage. Summarizing it, Genesis 29:8-10 talks about the day Jacob came to the well where some shepherds gathered with their sheep. There was a large rock which covered the mouth of the well. Seeing that the shepherds weren’t lifting a finger to draw water, he asked them when they would do so. They said that they were waiting for other shepherds to come to help them move the rock, because they couldn’t do it alone.

Soon after, Rachel came with her sheep.

When Jacob saw the beautiful young lady, it was as if super hero strength came into him. Without anyone’s help he ran, removed the rock from the well and gave Rachel’s sheep a drink. Impressed, she allowed him to kiss her and ran back home joyfully to tell her father about Jacob. There began their beautiful love story.

What called my attention in this story is how Rachel’s presence awakened strength in Jacob. Just from looking at her, he showed more strength than every man present – besides being a gentleman (this is a rare combination.) And as a consequence she surrendered to his strength and attitude, seeing that she had found a man which had the qualities to take care of her.

This is how Cristiane has been in my life. She awakened me to be strong. Her faith, character and inner beauty (which is infinitely greater than the one on the outside,) challenged me to be stronger than the majority of men. And yes, it also inspired me to be more of a gentleman. And this strength of mine gives her the assurance that she needs.

This is what the virtuous wife does for her husband: she gives him strength instead of weakening him. The husband of a wise wife has the strength of many men, but the husband of a foolish wife doesn’t even measure up to half a man. Plus the wife of a strong man has no difficulty to respect him before others.

This exchange is what makes marriage a daily celebration.

You can learn to do this too. Woman, be the inspiration and wisdom that will lift your husband. Man, be stronger and more gentlemanly than all the men around.

Then you will discover that it’s possible to have a party at home every day.

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