You messed up. Lost what you’ve invested in, lost your good reputation, your relationships. Your mistakes have put you in the hole. You’re not even certain God will forgive you and give you another chance.

I have good news and bad news for you.

The good news is that God is always willing to give you another chance, given that you sincerely want to change. The bad news is that if you’ve hurt other people, these people may not want to give you another chance. It’s the risk you take and the price you may have to pay for your wrongs.

Nevertheless, if you want to give yourself another chance, here are some things you can do that might help you start over — Not necessarily in this respective order:

1. Stop pining away. The solution is in the now, not in what has already happened.
2. Cut off contact with people who’ll only bring you down even further; seek help from those who really want to see you rise up again.
3. Do not try to fix everything at once. It took you a while to mess things up and it will take you a while to rebuild. Do not expect quick results.
4. Start to do what is right, right away, now. One thing, one step, one decision. Later, take another step. Right choices, even small ones, accrue into benefit, until change happens.
5. Jot down your goals in a sheet of paper and look at them every day, it helps a great deal. Don’t ask me why—just do it.
6. Do not be overconfident of your own strength. Seek strength in God. I cannot stress enough how important this is.
7. Do not expect that people will quickly believe that you have changed. You will only regain their trust if your new behavior is consistent.
8. If you think that changing is too hard, remind yourself about the consequences of not changing. Jot them down if needed, just so you won’t forget.
9. Every time a negative thought comes to mind, say TWO positive things out loud, with a stronger conviction. Don’t ask me why—just do it.
10. If you stumble, start over. Don’t give up. If were persistent and courageous in doing what is wrong, you can be just the same to do what is right.

Some may ask why this list does not include an item that has to do with asking for forgiveness from those who were wronged. If you would like to do it, then go ahead. Yet, they’ll only believe your repentance is sincere if you act upon these steps, thus showing you’ve changed. Just saying “forgive me”, then continuing making the same mistakes is worse than not saying anything at all. That is why following these steps is the best way to ask for forgiveness.

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