The first law to a happy relationship is: Thou shall not be far from God. This is how it works: Imagine a triangle where you are at one of the bottom corners and the person you love is at the opposite one. At the top of the triangle is God Himself and with Him, all the attributes of true love: respect, friendship, affection, justice, faithfulness, etc. When you and your partner get closer to the upper corner of the triangle, that is, closer to God, you get closer to each other and to true love.
It is much easier to love your husband or wife when you are close to God. Being close to Him, you learn to want to treat the other person well. You want to love. God Himself commanded us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, that is, to treat the one we love the way we would like to be treated. It is like getting closer to fire. You will soon get warm.
Someone once asked the Master what was the greatest commandment of the Law. He answered: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”; and He added: “And a second like unto it is this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”. Notice that the world’s two greatest commandments include LOVE. Why is it that many people cannot fulfill the second commandment, to love their neighbor as themselves? The answer is simple: because they do not practice the first. How could you possibly love your husband or wife, someone who isn’t perfect; if you neither love nor have a relationship with God, who is perfect?
Without having a connection with the Author of Love, people keep trying to maintain the marriage on their own strength. Many of them fail for not being able to do in practice what they know in theory. For instance, one knows that forgiving the one he loves is a must to overcome the flaws and past mistakes. Yet, how to forgive without having experimented the greater forgiveness of God? When we are closer to the Master, that is when we can forgive, and forgiveness takes away the pain of a wounded heart.
The farther away you are from God, the farther away you will be from one another and from marital happiness. The closer you are to Him, the closer you will be to the one you love and to happiness.
If you want to live “happily ever after”, remember the love triangle and do not break the first commandment: Thou shall not be far from God.