TITITI – What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned in your 25 years together?

Cristiane – There are many… but what I said concerning using intelligence was the top one! Learning that I had to ignore how I felt and use my head instead was a revelation. I overcame insecurity, jealousy, and the need for attention… Now, if I am tired or stressed out, I’m not going to dwell on that. When we make this decision, we stop making mistakes. Women, in particular, are easily controlled by feelings. The fact that we’ve been through many problems has helped me a great deal. I wasn’t shaken. Our marriage wasn’t shaken by external problems. Had I allowed myself to be controlled by my feelings, we probably wouldn’t be together.

Renato – She’s not saying that we don’t have feelings, or that we’ve turned into robots [laughing]. There’s a time and a place for feelings – but they’re not the right tools to solve problems. The greatest villain in a relationship is the very symbol people use for love: the heart. It’s because of the heart that people make mistakes. We learn to use our head in every other area, but when it comes to love, for some reason, we don’t. They say, “I can’t control my heart” or “I can’t choose whom to love”. These are lies. People who believe them fail miserably in their relationships. This is the biggest revelation in these 25 years we’ve been together. One particular evening, after 12 years of marriage, we started using our head and came up with a solution. We solved everything! We couldn’t solve them before because we were “feeling” the problems.

Interview to Tititi magazine – part 4.

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